As many of you know I am an efficiency junkie! I want to find the things that have the biggest pay off for the least amount of effort.
My gift to you today is sharing 3 of greatest determinants on our mental health … any one of these can be especially helpful when we are feeling stuck and down. They are also great for maintaining our wellbeing. So choose one to start today, or if you are really keen, try all 3 and see what happens!
- EXERCISE – do some! (ie. go for a walk, do chair aerobics, do bicep curls with cans of soup while you watch your favorite sitcom, dance, garden, join kickboxing, yoga, circus school- the options are endless!)
- HOW WE TALK TO OURSELVES– remember the 3 C’s (Curiosity, Compassion and Courage) and talk to yourself the way you would speak to a close friend if they were struggling. If you are treating yourself differently than you would treat a friend, that is just FEEDBACK that you have some emotional baggage coming up.
- Important: When there is a difference between how we would treat ourselves and a close friend, it is an INVITATION to be kind with yourself as you allow yourself to be sad, mad or whatever else comes up for you as you reconcile that you are valuing yourself less than the other important people in your life. Allowing ourselves to acknowledge and actually stay with those emotions is how we send the message to ourselves that it is not ok for us to matter less than others. It is allowing those feelings to pass that then motivates us to take action to change it in the future.
- GRATITUDE– one of the more powerful regulators of our emotions is whether we focus on what we can control vs things outside of our control (often translates to focusing on our experience vs other people’s experiences) and being grateful for the things we actually have – it changes our filter for the better
And ofcourse through all of this, FEEL your feelings, because acknowledging and passing our feelings is the ultimate communication to ourselves that we matter, and once we matter, and we care for ourselves, the rest happens more naturally. We naturally protect those we love, take care of them, feed them well, speak kindly to them, allow them to rest, etc.
Health care providers, like myself, therapists, GPs can serve as catalysts and helpers on your journey, but you have to be in the drivers seat and help yourself…even when you totally don’t feel like it.
Have a great week!
PS. As I continue to write books over the coming few months, there will be one new post/ mo and we will otherwise be highlighting previous ones as a reminder of tools or concepts we have previously covered!
Remember that you can also stay connected through out Facebook page (there is a link to my most recent book which can be purchased on Amazon- “Practical Positive Psychiatry, the STAMP Wellness Model”) or our YouTube channel which now also holds our meditations.